


Have You Ever Seen The Sun (after the heartbreak)

by IceQueenJules26



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceQueenJules26/pseuds/IceQueenJules26
Summary: When the guild gets back together, Natsu comes back with a girlfriend. Lucy, having been in love with him for years, doesn't take it too well...
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68





	Have You Ever Seen The Sun (after the heartbreak)

**Author's Note:**

> Here comes my fic for day 2: Regret! I tried something a bit different with this one... Hope you guys like it.  
> Title is from Brielle Von Hugel's After the Heartbreak.  
> As always, comments and Kudos would be highly appreciated.  
> Enjoy!  
> [My Tumblr](https://icequeenjules26.tumblr.com)

Lucy Heartfilia had a lot of regrets in her life. 

She regretted that she hadn’t cherished her time with her mother more. She regretted that she had never had the chance to make up with her father. She regretted the fact that she had let Makarov disband the guild. She regretted letting Natsu leave without her.

And she regretted that she’d never told him what she felt for him. 

Those regrets would always haunt her, some more, some less. Some she had accepted by now, and she still regretted them, but it hurt less. But some… Some were in the forefront of her mind constantly - literally haunting her whenever she saw it… Or better,  _ her _ . 

Lucy sighed deeply as she pushed the guild doors open, welcoming the familiar sounds of clinking glasses, laughter and conversation. Some guildmate or the other greeted her with a good morning, some just winked or nodded in her direction. She tried her best to smile at them, but she was certain it wasn’t convincing. 

She hadn’t truly smiled since the guild had been disbanded. Since Natsu had left her. 

Sure, the guild was back together and stronger than ever, and sure, Natsu was back - 

But so was the pretty brunette hanging onto his arm like her life depended on it. 

Well, she wasn’t back per say, it wasn’t like she had been in the guild before. And honestly, that description wasn’t fair to Yoko - sure she clung to Natsu, but to a totally normal amount, she was his girlfriend, after all, and it wasn’t the poor girl’s fault Lucy’s jealousy reared its ugly head whenever the plant mage entered the room. 

Lucy sat down at the bar and greeted Mira with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, receiving a compassionate smile in return. “Morning, Lucy. How’s your day going?”

Lucy sighed deeply and let her head rest on her arms on top of the bar. “Don’t even ask, Mira,” she mumbled, the sounds hardly even reaching the pretty barmaid. “I’m so tired.”

“Still can’t sleep without him, huh?”

Lucy raised her head as her best friend slid onto the stool next to her and gasped. 

“Levy-chan!” she exclaimed, almost scandalized. 

“What?” the solid script mage countered, “Don’t act like it’s not true. You always complained about him sleeping in your bed, but you’ve had trouble falling asleep ever since he doesn’t anymore.”

Lucy grumbled, laying her head back down. “Fine, but you don’t have to be so vocal about it…”

She couldn’t see it, but she was sure her best friend raised her eyebrow. “There’s no reason to sugarcoat it, Lu-chan. It’s been almost half a year and you’re still heartbroken. Maybe admitting it would help you,” she suggested, softly now, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

Lucy pressed her face into her arm, biting on her lip to keep the rapidly rising tears at bay. Sometimes, things seemed almost normal, like nothing had happened; like Natsu was just out training with Happy instead of cuddling somewhere with his girlfriend. When reality inevitably hit it still shocked her almost every time, usually making her burst into tears. 

True, she should be over it by now, or at least have accepted it, and to some capacity, she had - it wasn’t like she denied that this was her new reality, it was just that sometimes, her subconscious seemed to almost forget about it all. 

Sometimes, when she woke up in the morning, she was unconsciously put off by his absence; was surprised that it wasn’t toasty warm under her blanket and that no one snored into her ear - or, on occasions, even outright missed the body pressing into her. She’d caught herself dozily calling out to Natsu at least five times within the last week - and that was after already having been separated for months before he’d come back with Yoko. 

What made it even harder was the fact that Yoko wasn’t a bad person. At all. Lucy wanted to hate her, she really did, for taking the love of her life from her - but she couldn’t. 

Yoko was sweet and caring, always there for the rest of the guild. She was a great mage, too, had proven herself a valuable ally more times than Lucy could say - and, which almost was the worst part, she always considered Lucy’s feelings. Not that Yoko knew the celestial spirit mage had feelings for Natsu, Mavis forbid, but she knew how close they were before, and she always took that into account whenever she and Natsu planned anything. She always asked if it was okay she wanted to accompany Team Natsu on missions, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. 

Despite Yoko’s effort to not get between Natsu and Lucy, she had, but even that wasn’t her fault, it was entirely on themselves. Natsu always seemed to be awkward around Lucy, almost like he knew about her feelings for him; he stumbled over his words, was tense or didn’t know what to say at all. The ease their relationship had been based on before seemed gone on his part, or at least buried far beneath something she couldn’t put her finger on.

Lucy on the other hand found herself actively avoiding Natsu in the guild or on missions, choosing to spend the time with Wendy or Erza instead; mostly because she couldn’t handle being in his presence. She could hardly look at him without tearing up, the sound of his voice still made her breathing hitch and every time her eyes accidently met his she could feel her heart shatter into pieces like it was made of glass. She was so, so tired of trying to piece her heart back together, could almost physically see the scars on her hands where the sharp edges had pierced the skin when she scrambled to collect all its shards.

She was quite proud of the fact that so far, she had been successful in not letting anything show in front of Natsu or Yoko. They were both completely oblivious to the pain Lucy was in, to the thoughts running through her head, and she was thankful for that. 

Even though from time to time, the past still caught up with her… 

Sometimes, she still wondered how things would’ve went if she would have told Natsu that she loved him before the guild disbanded. Would he have stayed because he reciproked her feelings, or would he still have left? Would he even have cared? He probably would’ve thought she was joking or something, the -

A hand on her shoulder ripped her out of her musings and she jolted out of her hunched up position, her eyes wide. She was so startled she didn’t even remember to stay down or cover her face, and she could feel the air waving over her wet skin. Her tears were decisively on show, but in her shock she just forgot to care. 

“Lucy?” It was Yoko’s gentle voice, and the second her eyes met those of the other girl Lucy realized her mistake. She unsuspiciously tried to turn away, but she didn’t even have to look at the plant mage to know it was too late. 

She’d seen the tears.

“Oh, Lu-chan,” Levy muttered, who she had unconsciously turned towards, and Lucy was too weak to suppress the weak sob rising in her throat. Her best friend gently tugged her into a hug and the celestial spirit mage gratefully sunk into it. Another sob racked her frame and she had to use all her strength to not cry loudly.

The silent tears, however, she couldn’t keep back, and so she let them soak into Levy’s shirt, wondering how much longer it would go on like this.

Would she ever get over him?

She wasn’t so sure anymore.

“What happened?” Yoko asked her best friend and Lucy sniffled pathetically, trying to communicate nonverbally what was probably already clear: That Yoko under no circumstances was to know about the reason she was crying. 

“No-nothing…” Lucy wasn’t too surprised when Levy stumbled over her words. The solid script mage had never been particularly good at lying, which was only amplified by the fact that she’d never quite warmed up to Yoko. 

“So you want me to believe she’s just crying for no reason?” the plant mage asked sceptically, her raised eyebrow almost audible in her voice. Levy gulped. She was obviously scrambling to find a way to explain the situation without revealing the real reason, and Lucy felt an anxiety growing in her chest. She hated to put her best friend into this position. She normally had grown quite accustomed to keep her feelings under wraps in public by now, but her mother’s death-day was coming up quite rapidly and she just lacked the strength she usually possessed.

Her breathing hitched. She had an idea. She didn’t like using her mother like this, but it wasn’t even like it was a lie…

She took a deep breath, then she sat up and turned to face the young brunette. Her hand subconsciously searched for Levy’s, her warm presence behind her giving her the strength she needed.

  
“Sorry, Yoko. The anniversary of my mother’s death is coming up and -” She sniffled again, smiling under her tears. “Apparently I’m not taking it that well this year.”

Yoko leaned forward, carefully placing a hand on Lucy’s arm. “If there’s anything I can do -”

It was at this moment the guild doors crashed open and an obviously agitated dragon slayer stormed in, his blue Exceed hot on his heels. He growled deeply as he made his way through the room, his eyes wild. The wings of his nose were quivering like he was smelling something, and when his eyes settled on Lucy he was by her side so fast she couldn’t even blink. 

“Luce.”

Before she knew it, she was in his arms, and her breathing hitched. She sunk into his familiar warmth almost subconsciously, pressing her nose into his collar and breathing in his scent. 

He still smelled like himself, like Natsu, and she closed her eyes, too tired to resist.

“What happened?” he snarled, barely contained anger in his voice, “And you better have a good explanation before I explode.” His muscles strained while he was trying to keep himself from slashing out, and Lucy hesitantly put her arms around him to calm him down. 

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, so quietly he would only be able to hear her because of his dragon senses. 

“Nothing happened, Natsu,” Levy responded calmly, used to his antics by now. Sure, she hadn’t seen this side of him in a while, he didn’t seem quite as protective over Yoko, but it had always been normal behaviour for him concerning Lucy. He’d calm down soon enough. 

“She said she’s emotional because the anniversary of her mother’s death is coming up,” Yoko said, empathetic as ever, and Lucy flinched, thrown back into reality. She couldn’t do this to the cheerful brunette. Not that anything happened, and she was allowed to hug her friend, but - It just didn’t feel right, knowing what she did about her own feelings.

She carefully pulled back from his hug and he let her, albeit reluctantly. She wanted, needed to be able to get away if necessary. She wasn’t an idiot, she was aware Natsu knew her better than this - he wouldn’t accept that explanation, not even for a second. She’d try her best to convince him, but if she wasn’t able to, she’d bolt.

“It’s true,” she said, quietly, careful to not let her voice break. 

The gaze he fixated her with was almost cold. “I’m not an idiot, Luce,” he stated bluntly, and she bit her lip. Why did she have to be right about his reaction?

She stared back, trying to keep him from prodding further, but she knew it was a losing battle. 

“What happened, Lucy?” he asked again. The fact that he used her real name only made it more apparent how serious he was. Even after everything, he never called her Lucy - she was Luce for him, period. 

But not this time. 

“Just leave it, Natsu.” She was almost pleading at this point, but she didn’t even care anymore. She couldn’t talk about it, not in front of anyone, and most certainly not in front of Natsu  _ and _ his girlfriend.

“We’re best friends,” he stated calmly, a coldness seeping into his voice that was so entirely not himself she had to shiver.

She shook her head. “We’re not.”

His eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to disagree, but she didn’t let him. She felt trapped, and she wanted out, and she was sad and frustrated and her emotions boiled over before she had the chance to rein them in.

“We’re  _ not _ . Not anymore. And I think you know that well enough. You hardly even look at me since you came back, let alone talk to me. You’re always with Yoko. And it’s fine, I get it, she’s your girlfriend and I don’t fit into your perfect little world anymore, but don’t act like nothing changed. We both know better than that.”

With these words she stood up and stormed out. Behind her, Natsu tried to follow her, but Yoko held him back. “Leave her,” she said quietly, and he complied. 

  
  


______

_ So, that’s another thing to add to my list of regrets _ , Lucy thought disheartedly as she laid in bed the next day. It was already late afternoon, yet she somehow just couldn’t get herself to get up. She’d spent the night tossing and turning and had only fallen into a fitful sleep in the early morning. 

She didn’t know what to do, how to react when she were to see him again. She had been unfair to him, she knew; even if to some capacity she’d been right. They weren’t really best friends anymore, but it wasn’t fair to blame him for that - she had kept her distance at least as much as he had, and she’d never had the feeling he didn’t want her in his presence. That had been entirely on her. 

Yoko was a whole other story. As compassionate as she was, chances were high she had finally realized that Lucy had feelings for her boyfriend, and even though the celestial spirit mage technically knew she didn’t have to be sorry for the way she felt, she still had the urge to apologize to the friendly brunette. 

Lucy sighed and turned around in her bed. In times like these, she really missed Happy, with his cheerful character and an attitude that always managed to get her spirits up. 

Like he had read her thoughts, her window opened and the blue Exceed flew in, carrying a bar of chocolate in his paws. 

“Luuuuschy,” he said as he landed on her blanket, “I assumed you didn’t feel too good, so I brought you chocolate. I wanted to bring fish but Yoko told me you’d probably appreciate the chocolate more.”

Lucy forced a smile. “Thank you, Happy. She was right.” 

She would never say so out loud, but the familiarity with which the Exceed talked about Yoko cut her like a knife. She had no right to be, but she was jealous. So, so jealous. 

“Good. She’s also on her way here to check on you, but she sent me ahead so you could get dressed or something.”

Lucy wasn’t too surprised, but her heart still jumped at the news. She groaned as she sat up and got out of bed to put on some clothes. “That’s very thoughtful of her,” she said distractedly as she sorted through her wardrobe, before going into the bathroom to change. 

“Yeah,” Happy answered, suddenly sounding a lot less cheerful, and when she stepped out of the bathroom, now in proper clothes, he sat there looking like the picture of misery, staring sullenly down at the chocolate bar he still held in his paws.

“Happy?” she asked, frozen mid step. “Are you okay?”

The exceed let out a small sniffle and Lucy walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. 

He suddenly raised his head, staring up at her with big, watery eyes. “Don’t you like us anymore, Luschy?” he asked in that childlike voice of his and her heart squeezed in her chest.

“Of course I still like you, Happy,” she said gently, laying her hand on his head, “Why would you ask that?”

The Exceed sobbed, then he lunged himself at her, cuddling into her cleavage. “You never do anything with us anymore, and on missions you always stay away from Natsu,” he choked out between sobs. “We miss you!”

Lucy carefully stroked his head and sighed. “That’s hard to explain -” she tried, but got interrupted from the door. 

“It’s because she has feelings for Natsu.”

In shock, Lucy looked up, her heart beating a thousand times a minute.

In the door stood Yoko, and Lucy laid her hand over her heart. 

“Damnit, Yoko.”

The plant mage gave her a sheepish smile, holding up her finger from which a plant extended that distinctly resembled the key to Lucy’s door. “Sorry. I heard crying, so I let myself in.”

“That’s okay, just-” Lucy sighed. “I’m not used to it anymore.”

Yoko chuckled as she walked over to them. “Natsu, I’m assuming.”

Lucy nodded, continuing to stroke the Exceed’s head still firmly pressed into her neckline. “He used to climb in through my window every hour of the day. Didn’t even phase me anymore.”

For a few moments, it was silent. Happy’s occasional sniffles were the only sound in the otherwise quiet room while Lucy was struggling to find the right words to say. Then she took a deep breath, psyching herself up for the following talk. It didn’t matter too much  _ where _ she started, just that she _ did _ .

“I’m sorry, Yoko,” she whispered quietly, now cuddling into Happy as much as he was into her. “I’m so sorry.” Tears were rising up into her eyes and she did her best to keep them down, with limited success. 

“There’s no reason to be sorry, Lucy. You can’t change what you’re feeling, I understand that better than you could possibly know.”

A beat of silence, then: “You have the wrong impression of my relationship with Natsu.” 

Lucy looked up, surprised enough to forget about the tears threatening to fall. “Huh?” 

“Very articulate, Luschy,” Happy mumbled from his place between her boobs and Lucy huffed, slightly annoyed. 

“Happy,” Yoko said, waiting for the Exceed to look at her before she continued speaking. “Could you fly back home and tell Natsu to get dressed? Lucy’s coming over in a few minutes.”

The Exceed had nodded and flown off through the still open window before Lucy had even formulated a response. 

“I don’t understand-”

“Natsu’s not my boyfriend,” Yoko interrupted her. “He never was.” 

Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but the brunette raised her hand, gesturing her to keep quiet.

“I know what he said. I was there, remember? But he lied - or more like, he just blurted something out. He hadn’t seen you in months, Lucy, and he was  _ so _ anxious, and when you asked him about us he just panicked. He didn’t want to tell you the truth; which is that we’re just friends who occasionally sleep with each other to blow off steam and get our minds off of things. We both have our burden to bear and just needed someone to - fill the void, so to speak. That’s all there is.”

Lucy sat there on her bed, dumbfounded, staring at Yoko and gaping like a fish. “But - but.. What?”

Yoko leaned forward, taking a hold of Lucy’s hands. “It’s the truth. I swear. I finally realized that you’re in love with him, and that's why you need to talk with him about the rest.” 

Lucy continued to stare at her, word- and motionless, still trying to wrap her head around everything, but Yoko stood up and went to leave the apartment, tugging the celestial spirit mage with her. 

“W-Wait,” Lucy stuttered and gulped when Yoko’s sharp eyes landed on her. “Let me get my keys.”

____

  
  


A few minutes later she arrived at Natsu’s house. She had left Yoko behind a few minutes ago, who told her to send Happy back to her if he was still with Natsu to give the two the opportunity to talk in private. Honestly, for the first time in months. 

The door opened before she even had the chance to knock. It was Happy, Natsu right behind him. “I told him what Yoko said-”

“Great,” Lucy interrupted him, her eyes trained on Natsu. “Thanks, Happy. Yoko is waiting for you at the river, she wants to fish with you.” 

“Yey!” the Exceed exclaimed, enthusiastically flying back inside to get his fishing pole. He kept chattering while he rummaged through his gear. 

“Happy.” Out of nowhere, Natsu got a hold of him, his eyes never leaving Lucy’s. “Leave. Now.” 

His voice was almost guttural and Lucy shivered. 

The Exceed seemed affronted, but he grabbed his gear and left without another word. 

Neither Natsu or Lucy moved as they stared at each other, until she finally took a deep breath and stepped closer towards him. 

“So. Yoko’s not really your girlfriend,” Lucy stated, hesitantly. Instead of answering, Natsu took a step back to invite her inside, and she nodded stepped past him. 

The house was a lot tidier than the last time she’d been there, but that really didn’t say much, it just meant that this time, she could sit down on his sofa without having to put away piles of stuff. 

Natsu sat down next to her, closer than in weeks, and Lucy had to take deep breaths to calm her racing heart. 

“How much did she tell you?” The dragon slayer asked, his voice unfathomable. She briefly recalled her talk with Yoko, then it was quiet for a while before Natsu stood up to restlessly pace through the couch, obviously unable to stay still. 

“It was an accident at first, I swear. I panicked. But you were gone before I could correct myself, and after some consideration we decided to just… Go with it.” 

He came to a halt in front of her and puffed when she stood up. For a second he just looked at her, then he took a hold of her hand and gently ran his thumb over her skin. “She knew what I felt for you, and she thought it was a good way to keep an eye on you to figure out if you felt the same... It was also a welcomed alibi for me whenever I felt like I needed to get away for a while - when being close to you became too much.”

Lucy squeezed his hand, not entirely understanding what was going on but taking it nonetheless. 

“She said you both had your burdens to bear,” she prompted softly and he nodded, looking down onto their joined hands. 

“When I met her I was heartbroken over you, could hardly concentrate on anything. She had just broken up with her girlfriend and was just as sad as I was, so we bonded over our sorrows. One thing lead to another…” 

He furrowed his brows, still avoiding to look at her. His thumb glided in gentle lines across her skin and she involuntarily felt herself relax.

“When I heard that Fairy Tail was back I immediately wanted to race back to Magnolia, and Yoko decided to come with me. She said she needed to get back to her life eventually... She’s actually from around here as well,” he added when he noticed her questioning gaze. 

"We really didn't plan for any of it. I just wanted to show her the guild, but everyone was immediately in my face, and when you asked who she was - I didn't know what to say. I didn't want half the guild to know she was my fuckbuddy, and I definitely didn't want to explain  _ why _ we were, so I just said the first thing that came to mind. Sure we decided to go with it, but we thought it'd be for a few weeks, tops. We didn't plan for her to fit in so well with the others."

Lucy gently squeezed his hand, which prompted him to look at her. His eyes were shining with unshed tears and her heart soared in her chest "So before you knew it, you were in too deep."

He just nodded.

It was quiet between the two as Lucy sorted through her thoughts. She was almost certain of what she had never thought possible until now:

Natsu Dragneel was in love with her.

She bit her lower lip.

"I didn't even know if you were still alive, let alone if you were coming back," she started her explanation, quietly, now also looking down at their joined hands, carefully observing how his thumb still drew lines into her skin. "Then you were suddenly right there in the middle of the guildhall, and I hardly even had the chance to hug you before the others realized it was you. When I saw her, I was so perplexed, I didn't know what to think… She was so pretty and I was immediately jealous, and when you said the word  _ girlfriend _ I just - panicked, I guess. I knew I was going to burst into tears any second, and I definitely didn't want half the guild to see, let alone you or her. So I bolted."

She shook her head. "I think what made it even harder was that she was so  _ nice _ . I couldn't hate her, no matter how hard I tried. Which I did."

She chuckled lowly, he answered in kind and before she knew it, they were both laughing loudly. The adrenaline, the stress and the tension suddenly all left her body and she felt free, more than she ever had before.

"I love you, Natsu Dragneel," she said with all the feeling she had, finally looking into his eyes, one hand on his cheek. His eyes were shining brightly, so much love in them her heart jumped in her chest. 

"I love you too, Lucy Heartfilia," he answered, and for a second they just stood there, staring into each other's eyes -

Then he leaned down and kissed her, and the world sprung out of its axis.

Within seconds, Lucy had forgotten which direction was up and which was down, reality vanished and she was floating through space, clinging to Natsu like a lifeline.

She didn't know how long they kissed, she had lost all perception for time. She just knew that when they were done, she was gasping for air, her eyes wide and almost disbelieving.

"Wow," she choked out between breaths. 

"Wow indeed," he answered and then he kissed her again, harder than before.

  
  


When Yoko and Happy got back to the little cottage they were still clinging to each other, standing in the middle of the room. The brunette chuckled when she saw them and came over to hug Lucy and gave Natsu a pat on the back.

"Good for you," She exclaimed with a grin. "Nice to see my work finally paid off!" She laughed and Lucy thought back to all the times the brunette had pushed them together more adamantly than strictly normal. 

"Thank you," she whispered as she went for another hug and Yoko squeezed her tighter. 

"Anytime."

___

  
  


"So, does that mean you'll both be here?" Happy asked innocently as they sat outside around a fire a few hours later. They had grilled - or, in Happy's case, not grilled - the fish Yoko and him had caught earlier for dinner and were now just resting, the Exceed on Yoko's lap and Lucy snuckly pressed into Natsu's back.

"I will definitely be here, Happy," Lucy said, turning her head to gaze at Natsu lovingly, which he took as a chance to kiss her deeply. 

"Ew," Happy exclaimed and Natsu grinned sheepishly. 

"What about you, Yoko?" 

Lucy turned to her newfound friend reluctantly, almost scared of her answer. She finally had it in her to form a real friendship with her, and there was so much she wanted to do with her. She wanted to introduce the brunette to Levy, properly this time, with no hard feelings, wanted to have girls nights with them, talk about books and boys and girls and everything else that came to mind. 

The plant mage kept silent for a while, just staring into the flames, then she looked up and grinned at Lucy.

"I think I will stick around for a while."

As Natsu's arms tightened around Lucy, her heart took off and soared into the sky. She didn't have that much to regret after all.


End file.
